From her home, she jogged to a taxi, which took her to a

5 Daring Crimes That It Turns Out Never Happened

Christmas 2008 wasn’t so jolly for Miami resident Meagan McCormic. Instead of the normal annoyance of fake smiling over a God awful sweater someone bought her, she had a regular silent nightmare on her hands: her son had been abducted.

Meagan said she had left cheap moncler coats six month old Riley with Camille, his gap Moncler Outlet toothed, French nanny. When the au pair absconded with the tot, nearly 20 police officers bravely sacrificed their own priceless yuletide memories for a statewide Christmas Eve baby hunt. Mom described the kid as having a mohawk, one tooth cheap moncler jackets and a fake tattoo.

While there are definitely some snaggle toothed, Brie loving babysnatchers running amok out there, they certainly weren’t near McCormic or her awesomely coiffed son. Why? Because the darn kid never existed.

Riley moncler outlet store seen here on the swings.

moncler outlet online Say you’re having trouble getting over an ex. Whereas most of us choose to wank the pain away or drown our sorrows in fermented grain https://www.moncleronlineoutlet.com juice, McCormic refused to accept that her ex boyfriend just wasn’t that into her. To win her former beau back, she pulled one of the oldest tricks in the book: the unplanned mohawked pregnancy. And why go through moncler outlet all the trouble of actually having a kid when you can just tell him you moncler outlet online did? moncler outlet online

cheap moncler jackets McCormic’s plan fell to tatters when she forgot one eensy weensy fact: maybe, just maybe, her ex would actually want to meet the tyke. When her boyfriend came down from Massachusetts to meet the lil’ rebel, McCormic scrambled to concoct a tale involving an evil French crone with pissoir poor dental hygiene. Presumably she made the nanny French to capitalize on law enforcement’s latent Francophobia, but hatred of fine wine and semi soft cheeses can blind your average Florida cop with rage for only so long. cheap moncler jackets

moncler jackets outlet When your average Swede gives his wife the silent treatment, he usually tunes her out with an ice hockey match and a couple big swigs of aquavit. Very rarely does he simply hop in his car and monlcer down jackets make an impromptu cross continental road trip without telling the ol’ ball and chain where the fuck he’s headed. moncler jackets outlet

moncler outlet sale That’s exactly what our Husband of the Year candidate did. Our Swede clearly didn’t give a fig how his wife’s day was going, so he conveyed this indifference by driving from Scandinavia to Austria to Italy to the middle of Bavaria. moncler outlet sale

moncler sale outlet It was this point that the hubby realized that he may have crapped the wedding bed, so he did what any wayward spouse would do in this situation: fabricate a ginormous fib. moncler sale outlet

cheap moncler For those readers who may not grasp the total lunacy of this lie, imagine if the next time your significant other asks you to go the grocery store, you jump in your car and burn rubber 1,000 miles moncler outlet sale in the opposite direction. When you get there, call your mate and blame your absence on al Qaeda. See how well that goes over. cheap moncler

cheap moncler coats In late 2007, Amanda Bulliner of the tiny hamlet of Newport, New Hampshire told law enforcement that she had received cryptic phone calls from a stranger who had threatened her family. In February 2008, Bulliner again contacted the police, only this time a home invasion had left her cheap moncler outlet and her young children bruised and battered. cheap moncler coats

Newport’s finest frantically tried to find this violent stalker but came up empty handed. How come? Well, perhaps in a town as small as Newport the police department operates with a certain degree of charming incompetence, a la Mayberry.

moncler outlet store “I have no fucking clue what I’m doing!” moncler outlet store

moncler jacket sale What in God’s name did she seek to gain from smacking herself cheap moncler sale in the face? The love of an ex husband. Whenever her ex began seeing other women, Bulliner’s “stalker” would materialize, thereby putting the kebab on his budding romance. She was a serial cockblocker, if you will. moncler jacket sale

Luckily, she was no criminal mastermind, which isn’t really a surprise considering her plan to reunite her family hinged upon beating her kids. When the “stalker” left a threatening voicemail for the case’s lead investigator, the cop did a little bit of gumshoe ing (he tracked her via caller ID) and quickly threw the book at Bulliner.

In July 2008, a couple from Shangqiu, China was aghast to find that their son, Yang, had been kidnapped. His captors demanded a 10,000 yuan ransom for his release. Naturally, Yang’s folks took no chances and coughed up the cash to return their shanghaied son to Shangqiu.

First off, do you know how much 10,000 Yuan is? It’s about $1,400. Yang’s parents ostensibly complied with the kidnappers’ demands since they knew a good discount when they saw it. After all, a grand and a half is a bargain basement price for one’s son to have a pulse.

This watch is worth approximately five and a half Yangs.

moncler factory outlet The kidnappers next gave Mr. and Mrs. Yang an even weirder request. They didn’t want the ransom in cumbersome, unmarked bills. No, they would withdraw the money from an ATM. A nice, totally traceable ATM. moncler factory outlet

moncler outlet jackets When police inevitably caught the idiot crooks using Mr. Yang’s PIN, they were in for a twist of Shyamalanian proportions Yang had kidnapped himself. Together with some pals, Yang schemed to extort a relatively small amount of money from his parents. Surely he must’ve put his parents through hell for some noble and worthwhile reason, right? moncler outlet jackets

moncler outlet uk Hmm, where we have heard these situations before? Let’s see, mysterious cross country disappearance plus ethnic abductor with poor dental hygiene equals. one total crock that the media moncler sale totally ate up. Calling off a wedding is hard, but Wilbanks thought she could skip all that nasty lashback by falling off the damn planet. moncler outlet uk

cheap moncler jackets sale When Wilbanks went for a jog one evening, something in the Forrest Gump section of her cortex snapped. From her home, she jogged to a taxi, which took her to a Greyhound bus, which took her to Las Vegas cheap moncler and then Albuquerque, where she bumbled around until she realized A) she was broke and homeless; and B) her fame had exploded so much so that, days later, a piece of toast bearing her likeness would sell for $15,400 on eBay. cheap moncler jackets sale

The buyer was smart enough to welsh on the investment. To her credit, this vanishing act led to her break up Wilbanks and her fiance finally split 12 months, $43,000 worth of wasted police funding and one epic national embarrassment later.

For more comedy at the expense of stupid people, visit The Last Gaffe.

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cheap moncler outlet For more criminal idiocy, check out The 7 Most Baffling Criminal Defenses (That Sort of Worked). Or find out about some crimes taken moncler mens jackets straight from the silver screen, in 5 Real Bank Heists Ripped Right Out of the Movies cheap moncler outlet.

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